February 2012
50 posts
1 tag
Ripley's Unconventional Sex Life, pt 4
What did I want? I wanted her to catch her new boy banging a waitress in the bathroom when she took him out to dinner, so she would be forced to come running to me for comfort, and I could tell her that I already had two new fuck buddies, but if she wanted she could take pictures me fucking them.
Ok, not really. If I had actually thought anything that mean I don’t think I’d admit it. But you...
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Rose, SC 20
Rose: I was going to tell you…there were two in Seattle.
Me: Ah! Holding out on me! Do tell, who and when was the other! Busy girl!
Rose: The next night, in the early morning hours. You know I’ve never had sex on my birthday before.
Me: really! Well that’s sorta crazy….how did you avoid that all these years?
Rose: Good question. This guy was very good though, reminded...
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Ripley's Unconventional Sex Life, pt 3
So I realize that in some ways Ripley’s sex life doesn’t really seem that unconventional. She dumped a asshole who refused to commitment, for a nice guy with a big penis who fucks her just the way she likes and never used his belt as handcuffs while he drags her up the stairs by the hair. Not only is that not unconventional, it’s like a RomCom, if Hollywood showed the money shot.
But oh wait, he...
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Rose, SC 18
Rose Goes to a Wedding - 10:58 AM on a Saturday
Me: Where ya at?
Rose: Seattle. My cousins wedding. It sucks.
Me: I thought you liked weddings?
Rose: Not when I’m not having one. With all my relatives asking about it. Constantly.
Me: Ah. Sorry, forgetful of me. Well stay drunk the whole time.
Rose: That’s the plan
Me: hook up with a cute groomsman… it is the traditional...
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Watch“Hey, I could tell you stories. Stories you would like. For instance, I got off today to your porn on your iPod. :)”
“Really? Wow. I’m….what’s a word that means both surprised and tingly in my naughty bits? How far did you watch? What turned you on about it? That’s KrazyKelly, btw, she of the insane family crisis and the financial aid fiasco.
“I watched all of it. Not...
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Ripley's Unconventional Sex Life
So Ripley’s been getting serious about her boy from back home (see ‘holiday sexting’). Which sucks a lot for me, especially since there’s nothing I would have enjoyed more than tying her to my bed and eating her out while she told me all about sucking that monster cock of his until her jaw was sore then riding him. But instead she caught feelings, and replaced me. After the holidays she took a...
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limoncellomusings asked: hey, easy there with the rampage, yeah? I like you and your blog so hence neither dead nor incarcerated seem like good colors on you. also calling rape 'surprise sex' is so wrong it's actually funny :) xx
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The Things People Tell Me
Her: I’ve asked plenty of guys what kind of porn they like and they always answer in the form of a question. It’s funny.
Me: lol, so what kind of porn do you like?
Her: Honestly, I’m into the punishment stuff…not like whips and chains so much (although i’m not completely against it) but more the rougher sex, light choking, hair pulling, slapping…you know the...
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I should be working. Instead I'm shopping online
I want to fight you. I want to resist being your toy until I'm beaten into submission. I want to be rebellious and then defeated.
Sounds like we better find a time when my housemate is out....
My schedule is usually pretty open (when I'm in town). Feel free to booty call any time.
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Rose, SC 16
Me: How was Vegas
Rose: Amazing.
Me: what was the best thing that happened
Rose: The shower. Mostly the wall in the shower
Me: what was special about it?
Rose: Rocky’s cock. Actually, being pushed up against it by his cock.
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“I am the least difficult of all men. All I want is boundless love.”
– Meditations in an Emergency, Frank O’Hara (via repmekevets)
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Rose, SC 17
Rose: I got really trashed last night
Me: Woowoo. At a bar, or at home?
Rose: Multiple bars. Three. Team Monday. At the bar, this guy drew a pineapple on my shoulder, then he gave me shit for flirting the night before. And then I passed out while giving head.
Me: Hahahahaa
Rose: Yeah, yeah
Me: but wait, I don’t think I’m done laughing about the fact that you fell asleep with a...
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The Hazards of Duke The Hazards of Duke The... →
This was the first thing I read about the now infamous Karen Owen “fuck list” powerpoint that made any sense at all. If you get people asking the wrong questions, it doesn’t really matter what the answers are, and the question everyone seemed to be asking was “slutty vs. empowered.”
I so wanted to like the powerpoint. I’m a voyeur, I’m wildly turned...
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My Hard-Core Obsession →
“Threesomes, fishnets, dirty talk—those are the vanilla sorts of fantasies we admit to. Then there’s the truly filthy porn we actually watch when we’re alone. Shalom Auslander discovers that everyone has his guiltiest pleasure”
Nothing here that will exactly surprise anyone who spends much time wandering the sexier parts of tumblr, but it was fun to see this dynamic play...
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Rose, SC 15
Rose: I don’t want to talk to him like that at the moment
Me: Fair enough
Rose: What am I s’post to say?!
Me: but you’re still interested in something maybe when he comes back?
Rose: If he forces me
Me: oh Rose….who knew that you were vibing that particular kink that hard!
Rose: Not me! That’s for sure!
Me: you’re in my territory now…
limoncellomusings asked: that sucks about ripley :( xxx
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How To Fuck Your Professor
…or even just your TA.
The Short Version
So you say you want to fuck your Professor? Well, first off, make sure that you want to FUCK your professor. If what you really want is long walks on the beach, sharing milkshakes, or love letters, well, that’s a different conversation. But let’s say the teacher just gives you wowsers in your trousers. In that case, I have advice for you. The short...
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anotherdirtysecret asked: So I remember reading in your blog that you're a professor of sorts. Would you fool around with a student in your class, or do you generally wait until the quarter/semester is over and grades have been posted? My professor this quarter is new, and has a wicked hot accent. My friends and I sit on the back with our laptops, telling each other how fun it would be to jump him. Should we wait...
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Sinninginsecret asked:
“ did I tell you… Anyway, it’s been a while. How are you doing?”
You did! It was a special little tumblr thrill! And makes me feel I should be posting more. I have a special place in my heart for “pervertables,” like usb cords turned into whips, cutting boards into paddles, and duct tape into cuffs. I love my bondage gear, and I’m constantly tempted...
sinninginsecret asked: I did tell you my Sir was taking pointers from reading your blog, yes? I think I remember doing that. I'm both terrified and thrilled and curious, especially because he keeps mentioning the USB cord and how he's interested in experimenting with one. I discover little things on a quite regular basis that quite literally scream 'SADIST! THIS MAN IS A SADIST!' at me, and I'm...
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Michel Houellebecq Michel Houellebecq
“The novelist can write about hand jobs, sure, but if he’s going to write about love, he’d better talk about the elegant slope of her shoulders or her quick wit.”
Elaine Blair
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Valentine's Day anti-labiality →
Not as exciting as it sounds. Every year I intend to go outside some fancy restaurant and throw balloons filled with red paint at couples waiting for a table. This year I took a nap instead, which is probably for the best. But really, instead of ruining some nice romantic evening, I think I would grant it a kind of grace. Anyone can go drop a couple hundred dollars on a socially mandated,...
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“I have stretched ropes from steeple to steeple; garlands from window to window;...”
– Rimbaud, “Phrases” from Illuminations
lostways27 asked: Where is your dream place to have sex that you haven't had it yet?
Shit People Text To Me, weekend edition
“You were all up in my dreams last night…it was very real. And we had sex…strange. Yeah. I’m definitely gay.”
Shit People Text To Me, weekend edition
“Do we think it’s a problem that I regularly masturbate to American Psycho?”
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WatchShe tries so hard doesn’t she…
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limoncellomusings asked: Tag, you’re it! Here are the rules: Each tagged person must post ten things about themselves. You have to choose and tag ten people. Go to their blogs and tell them you tagged them. No tag backs.
Two Things
That so many women seem to say to me:
WHATEVERRRR
I’m going to murder your face!
Actually that second one is often all in caps too.
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How the Susan G. Komen Foundation Lost Its Way →
See also, Pink Ribbon Blues:
Pink ribbon paraphernalia saturate shopping malls, billboards, magazines, television, and other venues, all in the name of breast cancer awareness. In this compelling and provocative work, Gayle Sulik shows that though this “pink ribbon culture” has brought breast cancer advocacy much attention, it has not had the desired effect of improving...
